The Day Before

The surgery is now a week behind me and I finally feel up to writing about the experience. However, it could be lengthy (I write like I talk), so I'm going to break it down into (hopefully) short segments.

The day before going on vacation is always hectic and full of trouble-shooting; however, since I wasn't going on vacation exactly, I had hoped for a peaceful last day at work last Monday. Twasn't to be.

I had a huge to-do list before leaving the office for practically two weeks; pay bills, payroll and paychecks, phone calls, errands, etc. I had settled in to work long and hard when Dixie Regional Hospital called me to verify my information. At the end of the call, the lady mentioned that they hadn't received my blood work yet and asked when I was having it done. What??? I'd never been told I needed blood work done! I ended up having to leave, at 10:30am, to run to the local hospital to wait for an hour before giving a lab tech two vials of my blood. To add to my stress, the Dixie Hospital lady had said they also needed a urine analysis, but the request she faxed to my hospital didn't have the UA marked. I told the lab tech I was told they'd need the UA, but she refused to do it since it wasn't marked on the form. I worried about this all day. Not enough to do anything about it, though, I figured when the woman got my blood work and not the urine analysis, she'd call me and I'd tell her I wasn't leaving work again and it was her fault for not marking it. I felt belligerent, so I'm glad she never called. And no, I never ended up having a UA. Of course.

I hurried back to the office and tried to get back into work. I received another phone call from the hospital around 1pm informing me that my surgery was scheduled for Tuesday at 3pm. I was stunned because I had been told I'd most likely be the first surgery since I was the first one to book the surgery AND because I was the only one travelling. I told the nurse that 3pm was unacceptable and they'd need to change it. I explained that I was travelling from the north, the weather was suppose to be bad and the roads icy, and by the time I was released from the hospital it'd be dark and I didn't want to drive home in bad weather and darkness. Plus, I'd been told to expect early morning so had already reserved a hotel room for Monday night so Mom and I wouldn't have to drive south mega early Tuesday morning. I was transferred several times and no one "had the authority" to change the schedule. Frustrated, I called my surgeon's office and spoke to the coordinator. She couldn't believe I'd been scheduled so late; she'd speak to the surgeon and get back to me with an earlier time. While I waited for her call, the hospital called telling me someone had cancelled and would I like my surgery to be at 12:30 instead of 3? I asked if they'd heard from my surgeon, explaining I had called his office, she said no. I said I'd take the 12:30 for now but was hoping for something earlier. A couple hours later, my surgeon's office called and said my surgery could be at 10am if I'd like that time. I took it. The hospital called a short time later to confirm the time change. Whew! I hate being the squeeky wheel, but I really wanted my way. Does that make me a brat? Honestly, I don't care if it does, I'm pleased with how it turned out. I should mention, though, that, having learned my lesson here, at no time did I get upset with the people to whom I spoke. I stayed pleasant but firm. I used honey, so I was never left with a bitter taste in my mouth. Yeah for me!

It snowed practically all day Monday. I worried about driving south in the dark with the roads slick, especially through a particular pass that had been closed numerous time in the recent weeks due to the weather. So, I decided to leave work a little early (wishing I had packed Sunday night like I knew I should but didn't want to at the time). Then Dad called and offered to give me a priesthood blessing before I headed south. I was thrilled with the offer, partly because it showed that Dad cares and because there was a long time when he couldn't give me one. However, it was another thing to fit into an already crammed day. At this point, my boss came in to the office and noted my stress. He has a way of getting me to tell him everything, and I broke down in his office. That man! He was really sweet and I actually felt a lot better after talking to him. He told me to get out of there right then, but I still had work to do, so I hurried to finish it and left 40 minutes later than I had originally planned. I rushed to Dad's house, wondering how in heck I was going to feel the Spirit when I was felling so hectic and worried. I chatted with Dad, Paula, and Macey for a little bit, calming down a little. As soon as Dad started the blessing, I was filled with peace and calm, it was amazing. And wonderful. I appreciate the blessing I received from my home teacher, but getting a blessing from my dad was so special. He knows me, loves me, and I believe that as my parent, he receives inspiration that no one else could get. He touched on more than my surgery, aspects of my life that had nothing to do with the next day's event. It was so sweet, so special. I renewed the pledge to myself and unborn children that I would only marry someone who was worthy to offer these blessings to my family.

Worried about the upcoming drive, Dad sent me on my way. I "rushed" home (it was snowing really hard), packed, then called Mom to say I was ready to go. Though I had left work late, we got on the road 20 minutes before we thought we would. A miracle. Another miracle - the roads cleared enough that the pass I worried about was not a problem. It was still snowing, but we made it to our hotel without a hitch.

The rest of the evening, Mom and I rested in our room. It was kind of nice to be in a hotel room with someone else - I've spent so much time alone in hotel rooms this year! I read up on pre- and post-surgery expectation, rules, etc. and found something interesting. The ten days I was on SlimFast, I drank 3 a day, supplemented by the occasional popsicle or glass of apple juice - about 600 calories a day. Well, I discovered that I should've been drinking SIX SlimFasts a day and averaging 1200 calories a day! Oops! No wonder I lost about 20 lbs in ten days! Teehee. Oh well, I'm kind of glad I didn't discover this until it was too late. I despise SlimFast and I'm not sure I could've had more than 3 a day. Plus, it took me about 2 hours to finish one, so I would've been sipping on a SlimFast from sun up to sun down. Yuck!

I went to bed around 11pm, drinking as much water as I could before the midnight cutoff - absolutely no liquid or food after that time! I was surprisingly calm and not worried about the surgery at all. I wasn't excited for it, but I wasn't stressed. I felt ready. The time had come and I was prepared.

And so ended the day before.

Holy Cow!

I'm so hungry I could eat a holy cow!

Last night, my brother asked me if I'd do this "fast" if it weren't in preparation for surgery. I said "NO!" before he finished the question. It's not just the ever-present hunger that makes this so unpleasant. Here are a few other side-effects I've noticed:

1. Fatigue. I'm so tired. I have no energy whatsoever. I'm a car that has been running on fumes for the past 5 days. It's a little ironic, actually, because all day I dream of being able to go to bed, snuggle up in my blankets, and sleep. Instead, this diet has given me...

2. Sleep Deprivation. I'd been suffering from insomnia for a few weeks before I went on this diet, but it was waning. I had started getting some really good nights of sleep. Now, I'm on a sugar high and as soon as I lay down, my body starts fidgeting. It can't get comfortable and doesn't want to stay still to save its life. My legs are the worse.

3. Headaches. Speaking of a sugar high, I have a constant dull headache. I don't normally get headaches, and this isn't one caused by eye fatigue, stress, or anything else. Don't ask me how, I know I'm not a trained medical professional, but I know it's related to poor nutrition. It just feels the way I feel when I'm not getting enough healthy food. And, I'm not. Not even close. Everything, except the 64 oz of water I drink everyday and the French onion soup broth I had last night at my mom's birthday dinner, contains sugar and lots of it. The SlimFast has 17 grams of sugar. In between meals I suck on a Werther's Original. I add apple juice and a popsicle at dinner. Sugar, sugar, sugar.

4. Appearance. I'm sure part of this is due to the lack of sleep, but I look horrible! I took a picture of myself today with my cell phone and I looked 80-years old and on my death bed. Dark bags and wrinkles under my eyes, listless hair, pallid skin, dull eyes. Oh, and a big zit on my cheek, but I'll give the diet a break and not blame it for my acne.

5. Many, many trips to the bathroom. Sorry, I'm just keeping it real (as Pioneer Woman says). An all-liquid diet does this to you. This is definitely the cause of my...

6. Weight loss. The big positive about this ordeal: I've lost 13-16 pounds (depending on from which doctor's scales I measure) since Friday morning. That includes my office party at a steakhouse Friday night and pizza, chicken, mashed potatoes, and cheesecake on Saturday! Can you believe it?? I couldn't last night when I stood on my mom's scales and it showed my weight. I just hope this extreme diet is accomplishing its task of lowering the fatty content in my liver, making my surgery safer.

I know that this post sounds pretty negative, but I'm actually doing okay. I mean, it's killing me slowly, but I'm okay. I really thought I'd be irritable and mean, but I think I'm too tired to get mad. And, I know I'm doing this for a reason, that it isn't for forever, and it could save me money (leaner liver = safer surgery = less complications = smaller hospital bill). I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to the regulations as well as I have AND for not becoming intolerable to be around in the process.

Thank heavens this diet didn't coincide with PMS - that could have been scary! Again, just keeping it real. :)

It's Official

I'm ready to go for surgery on December 23rd.

I paid today. In full. I wish I could say I didn't have to go into debt for this surgery, but I can't. I'm counting on it being worth going into debt for. AND, I'm hoping to have it paid off as quickly as I paid off my teeth.

I still don't know what time I'm having surgery; the hospital will call on the 22nd to tell me. My surgeon's nurse speculated that I'd be the first in since I've had it scheduled for a couple months. That could mean being at the hospital at 6:30am and going into surgery at 8am. We have to leave at least an hour before we need to be there (depending on the weather and roads and how OCD I'm feeling). My beloved mom is driving me down and bringing me home, bless her. They're putting me under, so I'll get some good sleep. If she manages to catch a few winks, it'll be on uncomfortable hospital chairs. Now that's love.

You know, I really am blessed to have parents who care about me so much. One is helping me pay for the surgery and the other is supporting me physically (I'm staying with her for a few days) and emotionally.

Thanks, Mom and Dad! I love you!

One Week Away

Hopefully this time next week, my surgery will be a fait accompli, and I'll be sleeping in my brother's uber-comfy bed, or at least dozing in front of the living room TV. It hardly seems possible that it's been three months since I started looking into having Lap Band and almost two since I decided to go through with it. Time flies.

Except this week. It's going slower than a snail with a broken leg*.

I'm hungry. I know I should try not to be hungry, but I haven't figured out how to convince my body that downing three cans of SlimFast, a glass of apple juice, and gallons of water is sufficient for its survival. Oh wait...it's not. Huh. I try to supplement this meager diet with the occasional hard candy (Werther's Originals) or piece of gum. Last night, I even treated myself to a Lemonade popsicle! I'm not sure these are exactly "by the rules" but figure that they have to be better than eating solid food. (You have no idea how appetizing the unadorned tortilla residing in my work refrigerator seems at this moment!)

At work, not eating really isn't too bad (despite the scrumptious-looking tortilla taunting me from the refridgerator!). I stay busy enough to not think too much about eating, even when my boss and coworker are warming up their lunches in the kitchen/my office. I sip on my can of SlimFast for about an hour, after which time I proceed to sipping on water and sucking on candy or chewing gum. Last night wasn't too bad, either. My roommates are really sympathetic and ate before I got home. Then they kept me occupied by playing games with me. I went to bed early, so the night was over before I knew it.

Sometimes I think, This isn't too bad, and at other times I can't fathom how I'm going to make it 'til next Tuesday. I'm doing some heavy praying and trying to remember to take it one day at a time.

Honestly, after 10 days of SlimFast and a week of clear liquids/jello, a half-cup of a food is going to seem like an absolute feast!

I'm really looking forward to that half-cup.

'Til then, I'll enjoy not having to decide what to eat, visiting the bathroom every couple hours, and losing 5 pounds in two days (true story).

There's always a silver lining, right? And being skinnier and healthier will be worth it, right?

Right???



*I know snails don't have legs - I was being funny. And witty. And a little bit charming. :)