Thereafter 'til Now

For earlier days, scroll down to previous posts. There's one about the day before, the day of, the day after, and Christmas day.

After Christmas Day, things started to improve. The day after Christmas is my brother Corey's birthday, the next day is his daughter Brooke's birthday, and two days later is his wife Audree's birthday. It's a lot of celebrating even when I'm feeling 100%. It was kind of nice to have the excuse of my surgery to take it easy when I needed to, though.

I didn't go to Dad's house on the 26th. I figured they'd just be eating and playing games. I still couldn't eat much, so why do that to myself? I called Dad and explained and of course he totally understood and told me to take it easy. Of course, everyone came to Mom's house for a few hours, so I couldn't totally take it easy 'til they headed to Dad's. Then I relaxed on the couch and "watched tv". Really, I slept. A lot. I couldn't believe how groggy I was! The longest consecutive amount of time I was awake was a little less than an hour. Shiree and Wendy came by at some point but I was dead to the world so they just dropped off a gift - a yummy smelling candle - and said they'd try again the next day. Everyone got back from Dad's that evening and had leftovers at Mom's. I started to hurt, so I went back to Mom's bed. Sarah came by, bringing a poinsettia, and we chatted for a little bit. I have such good friends. I played a game with the family after Sarah left, but couldn't stay awake for long, so I went to bed right after they left. Mom had invited Porter and Brooke over for a sleep-over, so I didn't get to sleep in long. They love to wake me up.

The 27th, I woke up feeling much better. I wasn't as sleepy and not in quite as much pain. It was at this point that I started going longer in between pain medicine. I could barely stand to put the cup to my lips - it was so nasty. I also showered for the first time, Mom's new hand-held shower head making it easy to avoid getting too much water on my healing wounds. I also felt up to putting on makeup and doing my hair myself. I started getting dizzy towards the end but was able to finish. I finally had real solid food - a small, thin slice of ham. It was so yummy! I couldn't finish the slice, but that was okay, it was just nice to have something solid in my stomach finally. Brooke's party was at 2pm at their house, so Mom and I headed out. Kevin got to have Scott again and had picked him up while Mom had taken the kids home around 11. They were playing when Mom and I arrived and it was fun to see how well they all get along. That Scott is so lively and cute. I wish we got to see him more often. We stayed at Corey's house 'til almost 7, leaving only because I was hurting. I refused to take medicine when we got home, though, and was able to relieve the pain by resting on Mom's bed for awhile. Corey's family came to Mom's shortly after we had arrived. They played games while I chatted with Shiree and Wendy, who had come back to visit. I got out of bed to walk them to the door and because I hadn't walked enough that day and my shoulder hurt like heck. I played with the kids a bit then they left and I went to bed.

I had horrible nightmares that night. The only one I remember now caused me to wake up in the middle of the night panicked because Emily Post was trying to take over the world. I couldn't breath I was so worried. The panic wouldn't dispel, so I turned on the bedside lamp and the tv to distract me. Eventually I fell asleep again, only to wake up more times, scared. I wondered if I was having bad dreams because I was in quite a bit of pain, so I broke down and took some pain med. I slept fine the rest of the night.

Sunday the 28th was a quiet day. No one's birthday. Kevin played games at Corey's house 'til noon then headed for home, so Mom and I had the house to ourselves. We enjoyed it most of the day, but by evening we were getting bored. We tried watching a movie but neither of us could get into it. We played a game her sister had given her and really enjoyed it. Then we read and watched tv. It was really relaxing and I'm sure the rest did my body good. I didn't want to, but in hopes of avoiding nightmares, I took some pain medicine before going to bed. It worked and I slept soundly more or less - changing positions still woke me up a few times but I was able to go back to sleep quickly.

Audree's birthday was the 29th. It was also the day I had set for me to move home. My mom was an excellent nurse the whole time I stayed with her. When I couldn't do things for myself, she was there to do it for me. However, she also knew when I wanted to start doing things myself and let me, even pushed me a little. I really appreciate how well she took care of me. It was time to go home, though. I love my home so much and was really missing it. She and I loaded up her car with most of my stuff and then she carried it up my stairs. I helped as much as she'd let me, which wasn't a lot, but I carried as much as she'd give me. She made sure I was settled, then she headed home. It was nice to sit in my home and relax. I overdid myself, of course, by putting away my Christmas decoration s and sweeping off my front porch which was littered with snow salt. So, I watched tv the rest of the afternoon 'til Mom picked me up for Audree's birthday party. Her birthday marks the last day of the week-long party after party that is Christmastime. We didn't stay long because Audree had siblings there that she doesn't see very much and we wanted to give her time to focus on them. Corey and Jason had put together my tv stand, so when Mom and I left, they brought it to my condo after a pit stop at Mom's to pick up my bar stools. Jason stayed after Corey left and helped Mom and me rearrange my living room to fit my new stand. I really like the result. Slowly, my home is becoming more like what I envision it becoming. The rest of the night I had to myself. It was lovely. I opted to not take any pain medicine and didn't regret my decision that night - no nightmares. I haven't taken any since Sunday and don't plan on taking it ever again. Thank Heavens!

Yesterday was perfect. I was feeling the best I had since my surgery. There's still pain, but not enough to warrant pain med. It just reminds me to eat carefully, to move carefully, and to keep walking around. The gas and resulting shoulder pain are gone finally. I decided it was time to write about the experience, so I spent most of the day writing posts. It kept me so preoccupied that I didn't eat. I had about 1/3 of a Yoplait yougurt for breakfast then didn't think about eating again until 3pm. I finished the final 1/3 (I ate the first 1/3 the night before for dinner), then had a little cottage cheese. Mom brought over leftover ham, clam chowder, and chicken. I had about 1/5 of the chicken breast for dinner - about 6pm or so - and was full! I didn't eat again until just before 9 when I treated myself to a sugar-free popsicle. It was a really nice day. I didn't go anywhere. I wrote a lot, read a little, watched a little tv, and I put things away and decorated a bit. I also talked a lot on the phone. All in all, definitely the best I'd felt for a week.

Today, I've set a few goals for myself. I'm going to finish blogging, then put in a walking cd. I need to start exercising a little every day now that I'm feeling better. Mom has offered to pay for a few months of a gym membership. After some thought, I've decided to take her up on her offer. I love my stationary bike, but I need to strength train, too. I'm going to put all my dvds into the tv stand cupboards, sweep off my stairs - darn snow salt! - and finish putting away my stuff from the stay at Mom's. I have no New Year's Eve plans. It's not a big deal unless you have someone to kiss at midnight, so I'm not expecting to do much. Maybe Mom will come over and watch a movie. Maybe I'll just read. Who knows. I feel really good. A cold might be coming on, but I think resting will thwart its advance. Only one wound still hurts with any force but even it is feeling better. The tape covering my wounds is finally starting to come off, so my stomach is beginning to look more normal. Woohoo! Basically, I'm set to enjoy all these days off, alone in my lovely, beloved home. Aaahhh. Does it get any better than this?

Oh, and I've lost over 30 pounds. :)

Happy New Year!

Christmas Day

By Christmas day, I was tired of taking medicine, feeling pain, not being normal, and not being able to eat solid food. So, I was also a little cranky.

Mom came in to check on me and, when she realized I was already awake, wished me a Merry Christmas. Kevin came in a little later and we exchanged Feliz Navidads (not really). I had decided that rest would be the best thing for me, so I opted to stay home while Kevin and Mom drove out to Corey's house to watch the kids open presents and to see what Santa had brought them. Mom said they'd be back around 10am, so about 9 I drug myself out of bed, gave myself a sponge bath, medicated myself, and got ready for them to come back.

At 11:30, I started to feel neglected. Please remember that I hadn't slept well and was drugged. Oh, and I'm naturally ornery when people are late. I finally texted Mom and asked if they were coming back anytime soon. I tried to make it sound light-hearted, but I was feeling hurt. They finally came back and I tried to stay upbeat, but after everyone kept apologizing for being late almost jokingly, I lost it a little. Mom asked if I had felt lonely, and I nodded, trying not to cry. PLEASE remember I was on drugs! Everyone felt bad, so I felt bad. We all apologized then moved past it.

We opened presents and I enjoyed what I got and seeing everyone open their presents. I got to just sit there while everyone handed me my presents and babied me a little. I don't like to be babied too much, but they kept it to just the right point. :) See my other blog for a list of what I received and gave others.

For lunch, I had my first bite of solid food - a slice of a canned peach. I actually had to chew it! It was sweet, which was less-than-ideal, but at least it was solid. I managed to eat the whole thing even! Woohoo!

For the first time in forever, we didn't go to Dad's house on Christmas. I kind of felt bad that we weren't but was glad to be able to stay put and rest, especially after what happened the evening before. We played games, everyone ate yummy food, and I rested a lot. I did manage to steal a tiny handful of Chex Mix, though. Teehee. It tasted so good even though I didn't make it so it wasn't as overseasoned as I like it. Later that evening, Mom made her traditional clam chowder, one of her best batches ever. She gave me a couple tablespoons of just the chowder - nothing solid. Holy cow! It felt so good to eat something normal. I couldn't finish it all, believe it or not. So, so, so yummy.

It was a pretty mild day. None of the usual stress that I feel because we didn't go to Dad's. I was still taking pain med every four hours or so, so I was kind of out of it. And sleepy. I went back into Mom's room while everyone played some of the new games we'd received this year. Kevin came back at one point and played a couple games of checkers with me. He killed me the first game then I killed him the next time. We were going to play a third time, but the kids came in and wanted to hang out with me. Like the night before, people periodically came back to keep me company. I really appreciated it.

Eventually, Corey and his family left and we went to bed. Another day down and I was finally starting to feel a little better. Finally!

The Day After (aka Christmas Eve)

I woke up the day after my surgery feeling loopy and not very well-rested. Oh, and thirsty. And a little hungry.

I was extra sore when I got out of bed - it had been a rough night. Like I mentioned in a prior post, I woke up several times throughout the night. Also, it was hard to sleep comfortably because I normally sleep on my stomach and it was off-limits. I was suppose to sleep on my back but I occasionally shifted over to one side or the other. It hurt to shift and it hurt to sleep on either side, making sleep difficult. Mom came in to check on me and to give me more medicine. I seriously couldn't stand the thought of drinking it, but I knew I needed to in order to help my body heal quickly. I walked a few times up and down the hall while Mom prepared my breakfast - beef broth and apple juice.

I rested awhile after eating, then Mom suggested I give myself a sponge bath. It hurt quite a bit to stand in the bathroom and gently wash my body. The five "cuts" hadn't bled since the day before, but they still looked pretty gross. The tape from the guaze had left marks on my skin (I'm pretty sensitive) which made the scene look even worse. Oh, and I started to get really dizzy. I hurried to put my contact lenses in after I had "bathed", but almost passed out before making it to Mom's bed. I rested for a bit, then when I felt better, Mom washed my hair in the sink - a painful process as I had to lean forward against the sink - then blew it dry and styled it for me. It felt really good to be relatively clean and to have my hair done. Totally worth the pain and dizziness.

Mom ran to the store while I rested some more and bought me extra food that my doctor said I could eat - pudding, cottage cheese, and applesauce. She forgot the applesauce. For lunch, while everyone else ate ham and funeral potatoes, I had cottage cheese and apple juice. The cottage cheese, though not exactly solid, was the closest thing to solid that I'd had in what felt like forever.

Kevin had his son Scott for the day, so he opened his presents from us and his dad. We let the other two kids open a few presents, too. I love watching them open presents! Brooke always says, "This is just what I've always wanted!" She says it sincerely, packed with enthusiasm and glee. She chose to open my present to her and insisted on wearing the tutu the rest of the day.

Though in a lot of pain, tired, and woozy, I decided to go to Dad's house because everyone was opening their presents from him and I wanted to watch. The trip across town hurt, but once I got to Dad's and was able to rest on the couch for a bit, I started to feel a little better. We opened presents and it was fun to see what everyone received. My dad gives the adult children money right after Thanksgiving and instructs us to buy whatever we want. Then we take our purchases to him and he and Paula wrap them. So, we already know what we're getting; the fun comes from seeing what others bought themselves. When I bought myself a PlayStation2 a couple years ago, my brothers, knowing I'm not much of a video game player, thought it was just the box - it was the big surprise that year.

After presents, everyone ate and I tried a little chicken broth. Not as tasty or filling as beef broth. The others had pizza and it sure looked good. I was just about sick of not eating solid food, but I also didn't really feel like I could handle anything beyond broth and apple juice. By the time everyone had finished eating, I was feeling really tired and sore, but I didn't want to ruin anyone's fun, so I agreed to play a new game Dad had gotten for the family. It was a lot of fun but took a long time. I was really close to winning but could have been stopped, but the others were ready for the game to be over and they could tell I was in a lot of pain, so they let me win. My sister-in-law told me later that I was really pale and my eyes showed I was in a lot of pain. I wish I was better at reading eyes. In stories the characters can always tell what someone is thinking/feeling by looking in their eyes, but I don't think I could.

Anyhoo, we packed up and headed back to Mom's house. I barely made it to Mom's bed before letting the tears start to fall. My neice had followed me back and became really worried when she saw me crying. She ran down the hall shouting for Grandma (my mom) to come quickly. Mom came, saw me crying, helped me into bed, and hurried to get my pain medicine. She gave me a sip, waited, then tilted the cup but nothing came out before she took the cup away again. I told her I didn't get any and it reminded me of the numerous times this had happened in the hospital and I started to laugh. Laughing hurt like a mug, so I cried more, then laughed. Mom started laughing while admonishing me to stop laughing so it wouldn't hurt more. We both couldn't stop laughing so Mom left the room, laughing down the hall. We finally calmed down enough for her to give me the rest of the medicine. Bleh! That stuff is so awful! It worked, though.

I stayed in bed most the evening, only getting out to say goodbye to Corey's family and wish them a Merry Christmas. I wasn't lonely, though. Every so often, someone would come talk to me, then someone else would take their place. The kids stopped by often. They thought it was fun hanging out with Aunt Julie on Grandma's bed. After awhile, Brooke became really worried that Santa would be coming soon and she didn't want him to pass by because they weren't there. We tried to explain that Santa doesn't come until midnight or later and it was only 9:30, but she wasn't taking any chances. So, they left.

I stayed up a little longer to talk to Kevin and Mom, but the medicine makes me tired, so I finally went to bed. Mom, Kevin, and I had decided to go to Corey's house the next morning to see what Santa had brought the kids and to watch them open up their family's presents, but as I laid there, still in quite a bit of pain, I wasn't sure I'd make it. It was hard to think about not being there and participating but after being in so much pain from overdoing it at Dad's, I didn't want to overdo it again. I decided to decide in the morning then drifted off into a troubled sleep - I still woke up everytime I changed positions and sometimes just because. It was a long night.