Doctor Visit #???

I'm so sorry I've been neglecting this blog! Life has been so crazy! It didn't help that I changed jobs and lost my Virtual Route to New York. I've been recreating it on my new computer, but it's slow going, especially since the last three weeks I've had a roommate who has spent a lot of time on my computer, meaning I couldn't be on it. Although, to be fair, I wasn't really do a good job of working on my virtual route before he came along. :) Never fear, though, I AM keeping track of my exercising and will get a new route up soon. I'm interested to see where I am.

Until then, I thought I'd share with you my experience at the doctor's office this morning. My last appointment was the beginning of December and I've lost over 30 lbs since then (my weight loss has dramatically slowed, but I'm ok). I was supposed to have an appointment in February but I had just started a new job and didn't feel comfortable taking a morning off (my doctor is 45 minute away, remember) so soon after starting.

I walked in and immediately the nurses started oohing and aahing over me; "Oh Julie, you look amazing!", "Wow Julie, you look so pretty!", etc. It was super sweet of them. I caught them up on what I've been doing lately (new job, dating, softball, roommates, etc.) and found out about them. I love the people at my doctor's office - they are so nice! I was weighed and measured and congratulated for doing so well then was placed in the room to wait for the Dr.

Dr. S came in and smiled really big. "Julie," he said, "you look wonderful! You're doing so well!" It was great to hear that from him...especially since I've kind of been slipping lately. We talked about that and he remotivated me to do better with my diet but also congratulated me on my exercise levels. He's sure, and I agree, that exercising has been the secret to my success and will be the reason I'm able to keep off the weight long-term. Which is why I'm planning on exercising til the day I die. After some discussion, we decided to give me a little fill, something I hadn't expected, but after talking with him, I agreed to give it a try. I do find myself looking for food more often than I used to. If it's just because I needed a fill, it should be better now. If the feeling doesn't go away, then I'll know it's a mental thing I need to correct. My bet is on the latter, but I'm hoping the fill helps me conquer the mental urge to snack.

When Dr. S had given me the fill, he sat back down with a serious look on his face. He thanked me for coming in and for doing so well with my weight-loss. He confessed that sometimes he gets discouraged because people aren't taking full advantage of the surgery and either don't lose as much weight as they could or start gaining it back shortly after the surgery. He starts to wonder if what he's doing does any good. Then he sees me, a "minority" of WLS patients, and it rejuvenates him and helps him see that he is doing something good. I still have weight to lose, and I hear that maintaining weight loss is a million times harder than losing it, so I can't say I'm some perfect WLS patient, but hearing him say that really inspired me to do better. Not just so I don't let him down, but because it reminded me that it's my choice whether or not I take full advantage of my surgery and to have the body I want to have.

I thanked him for telling me and told him how much the surgery has changed my life...that it saved my life. I was so big, so obese, that I imagine I would have lived a shortened life, but that's not all. I wasn't living my life any more. I was existing, not living. Now I'm living and it feels amazing. I'm so much happier now. The surgery he performed on me DID ME GOOD. He smiled and thanked me for telling him. I said I'd do an ad for him whenever he wanted. We both chuckled. I drank some water (to make sure it would go down) and left, saying goodbye to all the nurses on my way out. My next appointment isn't for another 6 months, unless I need any adjustments or help before then.

I keep thinking how fortunate I am. I did absolutely no research about surgeons beyond the casual reference a lady my dad knows made. And yet, I ended up with a really great, compassionate surgeon who I trusted then and I still trust. He's a good man and it was great to reconnect with him as his patient. It amazes me how much that contact helps me recenter my weight loss efforts.

Oh, and I'm thinking of going back to support group. The one here fizzled, so I'll have to go to St. George, but it's only once a month! I used to go down there at least once a week to see my boyfriend, so once a month won't kill me. I think it'll really help me as I lose the remaining 20 or so pounds and definitely while I try to maintain the loss.

The next one is next week. I'll let you know how it goes.

Purple Purse and Other Things

Purple Purse
I had decided to stop rewarding myself for 10 lb achievements - it was getting kind of costly - but this morning, when I discovered I'd reached 110 lbs lost, I couldn't help it. I had a doctor's appointment today, so I'd be close to Target, my favorite place to buy purses. I realized that I've had my yellow purse since January or February, so it was definitely time for a new one! teehee. I wanted a purple purse. Or maybe an orange one. I'll decide when I get there. Well, I found identical orange and purple purses and had the toughest time deciding, but I ended up choosing the purple purse because it would go with more of my clothes.

This summer has been tough, and my weight loss really slowed down for a bit. So, I was really happy to reach 110 lbs, especially since I achieved it 5 days before I'd hoped to. I really had to buckle down and get back on the "straight and narrow" in order to do it, so I'm pleased. I deserve a little reward. *smile*

Doctor Appointment
It's been two and a half months since my last visit, and it's been hard. Talking to Dr S helps me a lot because he knows what he's talking about and I trust him. He confirms the things I'm doing right then he steers me to do things that I'm not doing. Things that maybe I didn't need to do until now, when I've reached this point. For example, he's always complimented me on how well I keep up my exercising. Today, he asked me about strength training, and when I told him I don't do it, he encouraged me to add that to my exercise routine. He instructed me on certain exercises, advised me on how to know what weights to get (5lb, 10lb, etc.), and suggested how often I should lift weights. It was really helpful.

When it came time to decide whether or not to get a fill, we talked quite a bit. I really don't want to use the band as a crutch; I want to develop good habits that will last the rest of my life. However, I got the band for a reason, why not use it the way it's intended? Like I said, we discussed it for a long time and he asked me a lot of questions. In the end, we both came to the conclusion that a small fill would be worth a try.

Have I mentioned how much I like my doctor? I do. I can't believe how fortunate I am to have such a great doctor, especially since I didn't research him at all. *sheepish grin* I just went with my gut (pun intended); I guess my gut was right. Too bad I'm doing my best to get rid of it. *smile*

The Fill
This was the worst experience with getting a fill that I've had. A couple times, Dr S was the one who gave me the fill because his nurse practitioner wasn't available. Those were the best times because he's in and out with the needle in a heartbeat. No bruising afterward, no pain, and no nausea. Another NP gave me my first fill, and though not as smooth as Dr S, it still was ok, with minimal pain and nausea afterward. The NP today has worked on me before. She's the one who took out some saline when I entered the Red Zone in March. At that time, she'd only done it a couple times but I was desperate so didn't care that it took a little time for her to find the port. This time was worse.

She couldn't get the needle into the port to save her life. And let me just tell you that after losing 110 lbs, I have a lot less stomach so it's easier to feel the port. She kept saying she could feel the port, but she couldn't get the needle in it. So, she's got the needle in my body, swirling it every which way trying to find the port. Every so often, she'd hit a spot that wasn't numb because it wasn't even close to where the port is, and the pain would make me gasp. Seriously, it was making me nauseous just being able to feel the needle moving around, but at least there wasn't pain...until she hit another spot that hadn't been numbed. Finally, after several minutes, she pulled out the needle and let me relax a bit before she plunged it in for another attempt. More of the same; nausea, pain, pushing out my stomach as far as I could to try to help her find the port - lasting another 5 minutes or so. She took out the needle again, still unsuccessful, and told me she'd try one last time then go get Dr S. I wanted to plead with her not to try again, but I didn't. I'm too nice. After a few minutes of the same, she found the port. Thank heavens!

I now have three small puncture wounds from the three attempts, a growing bruise, and I still feel pretty nauseous and am in quite a bit of pain - 5 hours later! I know nothing has been permanently damaged, it's just going to take my body awhile to recover from the experience. I really want to lie down and not move for a very long time.

Fortunately, the fill wasn't too much, I can eat and drink without a problem. And, I can tell the difference with the amount of restriction I'm getting, and it feels good. It will help me as I work on getting back on track. So, it was worth the horribleness of getting the fill.

That's it. Other than not feeling very well, I feel great. My clothes are falling off of me, literally! I lost my slip at my mom's house last night. Stood up from the table, walked a couple steps, and felt something slip to my ankles. I thought at first that it was my skirt (which is also really loose), but it was "just" my slip. My family thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, well they don't have to buy a new slip. *smile*

Doctor Visit #3

I wasn't looking forward to this visit, quite frankly.

1. I gave in to internal peer pressure and weighed myself on Monday (a week early) and still hadn't lost any weight. It was frustrating. I wondered what my doctor would say when I told him I had been stagnant for two weeks and hadn't lost as much weight as last month.

2. I worried about getting a fill. I kind of thought I needed one but really didn't want a repeat of last month when solid food wouldn't stay down. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

I almost canceled the appointment. The only reason I didn't was the realization that I haven't felt much restriction from my band since I went back last month and had some saline taken out. Most of the month, I thought it was just because I was in a good eating groove and wasn't eating enough to make me feel the band. Then I went to Las Vegas last weekend and had a meal that was a good deal bigger than I should have been able to eat. I kept the appointment.

I'm glad I did. It's nice to have a professional to talk to about my worries and about what's happening. Dr. S asked me all the usual questions then asked if I wanted a fill. I told him why I thought I should (the bigger meals, feeling no restriction, not losing any weight for two weeks) and why I worried about getting a fill (the Red zone). He advised that he put back most of the saline that was taken out last month and told me that the band isn't static; just because it's a good tightness for a month or more doesn't mean it will stay in the Green zone permanently. Also, just because a fill made me go into the Red zone one month doesn't mean it will make me the next month or in a couple months. Yeah, I don't totally get it either, but he knows what he's talking about, and I trust him.

As a precaution, I brought a small piece of leftover steak to eat after the fill; I didn't want to get home and realize the band was too tight and have to go back (remember, my doctor's office is 45 minutes away). The steak went down without a hitch. And, just that little bit kept me from feeling hungry for a few hours! Awesome!

Dr. S was very pleased with my weight loss results. He considers 4-8 lbs a month a good amount to lose, so my 9 lb loss (according to his scale) in slightly less than a month is fine. He said he'd worry if I lost 15+ lbs or less than 4 lbs (at this point in time). He congratulated me on regularly exercising and comforted me by saying that plateaus are normal and counseled not to get discouraged and give up my good habits.

Have I mentioned how much I like Dr. S? He has a great doctor personality; encouraging, caring, and friendly, but professional and trustworthy, too. I didn't really research my surgeon before the surgery (just went off a referral), so I'm very grateful that he's as good as he is.

My next appointment is May 13th. At first I thought I would get tired of having monthly appointments, but for now I'm happy because things can really change in a month.

The Red Zone

*Maybe not the best read if you have a sensitive stomach. I'm just saying.

Yesterday, I had my monthly appointment with my surgeon. I woke up in a great mood - it was sunny outside, I felt like a million bucks, and life seemed wonderful.

To add to my joy, my doctor was actually on time for the appointment - woohoo! We discussed how the previous month had gone for me, and he expressed his satisfaction with the weight I have lost so far. He asked me bunches of questions; do I get heartburn (no), do I vomit (no), how much of my diet is protein (70% or so), do I exercise (yes), what (walk/ride my bike), how often (5-7 days a week), etc.

He asked me if I wanted my band filled. In each of his rooms, there is a little chart that distinguishes the three "zones" of band filling. The first zone is Yellow. In this zone, you get hungry easily, eat "large" meals or snack constantly, and go looking for food. The second zone is Green. In this zone, satiety lasts at least 4 hours, you eat 2-3 meals a day that are 1/2 - 3/4 cup, and are able to eat solid proteins. The last zone is Red. While in this zone, you can't eat solid proteins, only liquids. You have heartburn and vomit if you eat anything. The goal is to be in the Green zone.

I decided I was in the last part of the Yellow zone and explained why - my meals are slowly getting larger than 3/4 cup. He agreed to fill my band just a little. Usually, a nurse practitioner does the fill, but they were both gone so he did it. What a difference! He found the port quickly and didn't show me the needles (thank heavens!) before sticking me with them. It was over before I knew it. He had me drink some water, and everything seemed perfectly fine, so I scheduled my April appointment and drove home.

When I got to work, I worked for a bit and at lunch time heated up my piece of chicken. I ate it while working, never a good idea, but tried to keep to the regulations - small bites, chew thoroughly, and pay attention to feelings of fullness. Before I finished, I started to feel full, so I stopped. The fullness increased to pain. A lot of pain. I couldn't breath so I left the office and went into the bathroom across the hall. I couldn't swallow my spit, the fullness in my chest was so painful. Eventually, I vomited up spit. The two other times I've overeaten, this step has reduced the fullness and I've quickly felt better. Not this time. It reduced the pain but it slowly increased again until I thought my chest would burst. Then I vomited spit again. This happened numerous times - too many to count - for a couple hours. Finally, more than spit came out. None of my lunch had made it through the band. At this point, the day was almost over but I was relieved to start feeling better.

As you might guess, I was in no hurry to eat again, so I didn't eat dinner until around 6:30. I hoped that maybe I had just eaten too much too quickly at lunch and that is what had caused the bad reaction. I made chicken breasts and cut one in half for my dinner. Not wanting a repeat of lunch, I ate very slowly, chewed my food 'til it was practically pureed, and ate tiny bites. Well, after just a few bites, I felt that same fullness from lunch. The next few hours were a repeat of my afternoon. Basically, it was hell. I called my doctor's office and left a message saying I'd be in the next day to get some of the saline out of my band, then called my office to let my coworker know I'd be in late. Fortunately, I felt much better by the time I went to bed - just after 11pm - so was able to get a decent night's sleep.

I awoke this morning feeling great. Maybe I wouldn't need to go down afterall, I hoped. I hopped on my bike and 5 minutes into it, took a sip of water. As needed, I'd take another sip. After 10 minutes, the fullness was back! I'd only had water! I stopped riding after 15 minutes because the pain was coming back, too. It was discouraging to know that even water wasn't making its way through the band. No wonder food caused me so much pain! I hurried to get ready and left for the doctor's office.

I was so hungry and thirsty by the time I arrived. And, did I mention that I'm PMSing? I am. So, I wasn't in the best emotional state when they told me that no one was there who could take some saline out of my band. I'd have to wait 30 minutes. No problem. Then they said no one would be there 'til this afternoon. I started to cry. I explained that I'm leaving for WY today for work and have lots to do to get ready and I can't go another day without eating or drinking water. Yeah, I cried. Not proud of it, but I did. The office staff was awesome! They quickly found someone who could come asap and kept comforting me. I was so embarrassed. While we waited, they weighed me again - I had lost 5 pounds in one day, no food or water will do that, I guess - and took my blood pressure, etc.

Finally, a nurse practitioner arrived and took out 75% of what my doctor had put in. We talked about it beforehand and decided to take most of it out to make sure I wouldn't have any issues while in WY but left some in to hopefully give me the help I needed to reduce my meal sizes. She admitted to being new to the process, and I could tell. It took her a long time to find the port and sometimes I felt pain despite the numbing stuff she'd injected. She'd apologize but I'd brush it off and thank her for being there. And, really, I'd suffer the pain gladly to get that saline out! She had me take a couple big gulps of water to make sure it felt better and suggested I eat something before leaving town to see if I could eat. I ate some peanuts when I got to my car and they went down fine. My lunch went fine, too, and I'm able to drink water. Also, I think the band is just tight enough to help me eat smaller meals. I think I'm finally in the Green zone. Woohoo!

Thank heavens I'm not in the Red zone anymore. That was NOT fun! According to my doctor, some people stay in the Red zone on purpose because they think it will help them lose weight faster. In reality, they start drinking high calorie liquids or eat easy-to-eat foods like ice cream and end up gaining weight instead. Honestly, I'd rather lose an ounce a week than go through another day like that. It was so miserable!

It certainly makes me hesitant to get another fill any time soon! *shudder* Hopefully, I'll stay in the Green zone for a long time!