Honey, Vinegar, and Humble Pie

No, these aren’t the ingredients for some fabulously odd Thanksgiving dish I’m planning to make next week. You wish you were that lucky!

Today, I should have used honey, but instead used vinegar, so my slice of humble pie was even more difficult to eat.

I had a message on my cell phone from a psychiatrist’s receptionist informing me that they had received the medical history form and questionnaire I had filled out. She said their next available appointment was in January so I should call quickly to schedule an appointment. I already have an appointment! I said to myself, so I called her back, figuring she’d overlooked my appointment and all would be well in no time. Nope.

She looked in her book at the date I said I had scheduled for the psych evaluation and said my name was nowhere to be seen. She looked on the days before and after and still my name was not written down. I started to panic, and I don’t always function at my best when I panic, unfortunately. You see, December 23rd is really the best day for me to have the surgery and if I waited ‘til January to have the psych evaluation, I’d have to have the surgery some time in January. PANIC!

Leslie (not her real name) kept saying she wasn’t the one who I had spoken to because she wouldn’t have made this kind of mistake. It frustrated me that she wasn’t trying to come up with any solutions, just absolving herself from any wrongdoing. Finally, my voice dripping with vinegar, I asked her if she was willing or able to do anything to help me out of this predicament. She said she couldn’t think how she could. I asked if the doctor was willing to come in early or stay late at all. She wasn’t sure. I was really close to losing it, so I said I’d call my surgeon’s office and see if they had any suggestions. I didn’t mask my frustration as well as I could have.

So, I called my surgeon’s office and informed the receptionist of the problem. She was very sympathetic and gave me the name and phone number of a psychiatrist they don’t use very often but who is capable of doing the evaluation. I called his number and got the answering machine, so I left a message pleading with them to call me back.

I have a piece of paper in my bariatric surgery folder that lists the steps I need to take before I have the surgery. On this sheet, I have the names and phone numbers of the doctors and nutritionists that my surgeon’s assistant recommended I call to complete these steps. The doctor for whom Leslie works was on that list; next to his name was a notation I made after calling them in October, which reads, “Appointment avail mid-December, they’ll send packet, but calling somewhere else to see if earlier appt avail.” I looked at the other psychiatrist and found this notation next to her name, “Set appt for December 2nd, 9am”.

Two words: humble pie.

I called this psychiatrist's number to confirm the appointment, but no one answered, so I just left a message. I’m positive my appointment is with her, though, because at the bottom of the page I wrote her address and directions to the office. Yeah, I felt kind of stupid.

After basking in my foolishness for a bit, I called Leslie and explained what had happened and apologized profusely for getting frustrated earlier. She said she totally understood why I had become frustrated and apologized for not being more helpful. She informed me that they had some spots that had opened up due to cancellations and did I want to see the doctor tomorrow? I was tempted. I had already spent an hour filling out the mental health questionnaire (for the wrong doctor!!!) and it would be really nice to have this evaluation over and done with, but the open spots were around 3pm. My coworker would have to work late and she really doesn’t like to, so I thanked her and said I’d have to pass, explaining why.

Which led me to wonder if I had handled the situation better the first time I talked to her, would she have offered those open spots right then? Would the honey really have attracted the fly better than the vinegar?

By the way, have any of you actually tried this experiment with real honey, vinegar, and flies? I’m assuming the honey really does attract more flies, because it’s such a “tried and true” expression; however, I wouldn’t be surprised if flies liked the vinegar. I for one really enjoy vinegar, especially salt and vinegar chips or as a dip for French fries, so maybe flies like vinegar, too. Odder things could happen.

To sum up: in the future, I need to remember to express my frustration in a better, sweeter, way. Not only may I reap immediate rewards (the other person’s increased willingness to help) but the slice of humble pie will be smaller if it turns out that I play a part in causing the frustration.

In other words, not only does it attract more flies, but honey also makes a tastier humble pie than vinegar.