I’ve always underestimated the importance of support when losing weight.
A couple years ago, when I tried Weight Watchers for three weeks, I thought the meetings were hokey and uninformative. The thought of attending one every week didn’t appeal to me, and I couldn’t figure out why my mom enjoyed them so much.
I tend to be a tad too independent for my own good sometimes.
I still think those meeting were a little hokey and now would probably enjoy them only marginally more than I did back then, but I get why they helped my mom. It’s helpful to have contact with people who are going through, or that have gone through, the same things you’re going through.
No one in my day-to-day life knows what it’s like to have had weight loss surgery. They don’t understand the challenges I face; what it’s like to get food stuck, the gas pain in my shoulder (just keeping it real), getting a fill, or a myriad of other things that you can’t totally get if you haven’t had WLS.
The people at my support group get it. They’ve had those same challenges, are working through the same difficulties I’m facing or will face. They have words of wisdom on how to cope with gas pain, menu ideas that stay within our guidelines, and suggestions on keeping on the path to weight loss. It’s a small group, but everyone is so different and has had so many similar and different experiences that a lot of ground is covered.
I didn’t attend last month’s meeting (for a stupid reason) and have been amazed by how much I missed it. The meetings motivate me to do what I “should be” doing. If for no other reason, I’d keep going just to be able to talk with people who know what I’m going through.
I had an “ah ha” moment last night. The theme of the meeting was Personal Accountability; accepting responsibility for everything we put in our mouths and for our choice to exercise or not. It was the perfect theme for me.
Peggy, the group leader, told us a story. She had strictly kept to the diet guidelines as outlined by her (and mine) doctor for just over a year after her surgery; three meals a day of mostly protein and no snacking. Then one day she saw a solitary peanut in an otherwise empty bowl at work. Without thinking, she ate the peanut. A day or two later, she ate a few more peanuts from the now full bowl, rationalizing that the one peanut the other day hadn’t derailed her weight loss, neither would these. Within no time, she was back to her old snacking ways – all the things she hadn’t eaten in months she now ate because every time she ate something new, she rationalized that the item she ate the day before hadn’t killed her, this wouldn’t either.
I totally recognized this in myself. I’ve slowly become more permissive in the things I’ll allow myself to eat (though still holding firm to others – ice cream is still a big “no, no” to me). It started with one Hershey’s kiss a day after lunch. Then it worked its way up to two a day. Then it was a tiny slice of chocolate cake at Sunday dinner with my family. Then I ate a slightly larger slice the next time, since the last slice didn’t stop me from losing weight. Slowly, I’ve started eating the odd cookie, handful or chips, slice of pizza, and other things that are not a part of my diet plan. Yes, I’m still losing weight, but I’m also re-establishing the habits that got me at my weight dilemma in the first place.
I decided to recommit to avoiding the foods that don’t fill me up, add empty calories into my body, and don’t really make me feel good. There are so many good foods that will nourish my body, keep me feeling full for hours, and taste delicious - why not enjoy them and forget about that other stuff? Not that I won’t have the occasional treat, but the idea is to make treats the exception instead of the rule – lately they’ve been well on their way to re-establishing themselves as the Rule in my life.
We joked that Peggy’s peanut was the “gateway drug” that led her down more dangerous paths. I looked at my gateway drug – chocolate kisses – and decided to give up my daily dose of chocolate. I’d like to think that someday I’ll be able to have one Hershey’s kiss and not have it lead to other indiscretions, but honestly, I may never be able to.
It’s a price I never realized I’m willing to pay.
Showing posts with label support group. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support group. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Support Group - February
I wonder if it will always be an internal struggle to attend my support group meetings. I look forward to it for a week, then the night of, I have to talk myself into going.
Monday night, it didn't help that I stayed late at work trying to fix a glitch with my phone - it wasn't receiving emails and I really like that it normally does. I finally got it working again around 6:30 and the support group started at 7:00. I had a little meat leftover from lunch, so I ate it, trying to decide what to do. A movie across the way tempted me. Going home and changing into my sweats tempted me. I finally decided on the movie and popped a Hershey's Kiss into my mouth (our FedEx driver gave a bag of Kisses to my coworker and me).
The Kiss changed my mind. I had rationalized eating it by saying that at least I was only eating one. Before my surgery I would have had more. I've been rationalizing a lot lately - especially Super Bowl Sunday when I ate more carbs in 5 hours than I had in over a month! I ate considerably less than I normally would have, but I definitely did not stick to my prescribed diet.
I changed directions and drove to the library instead of the theater. The whole time, I still had to convince myself to go. I know what I need to do to lose weight, I'd argue. Yes, but you're not doing it as well as you could. You need support, not just knowledge. This will keep you motivated. The angel on my shoulder won out. Thankfully.
The night's topic was self-talk, wouldn't ya know. The leader told us some of the things she says to herself and how she'd never let someone else get away with saying those things to her and that she certainly would never say them to anyone! I don't think I have a lot of negative self-talk, thankfully, but it does exist. Certain times are worse than others. Certain events bring it out - like my boss wanting to set me up on a blind date. I say to myself, I bet I know what he'll think when he sees me! or something along those lines.
We discussed ways to keep our internal conversations positive and to break the habit of negative self-talk. I came away with two things I'm going to do.
1. Love notes to myself. Okay, not really "love notes", but little sticky notes that have positive things about myself where I'll see them often. One lady puts sticky notes all over her mirror. I'm going to put some on the monitor of my exercise bike. I know it sounds corny, but it's worth a try.
2. Two things I did well today. Every night, before going to bed, I'm going to say out loud (to myself) two things that I am proud of myself for doing/being/etc. For example, Monday night, I said I was proud of myself for going to the meeting and for riding my bike for a record 35 minutes in one session! Woohoo!
The instructor said that she's going to start saying "Stop!" out loud every time she catches herself saying negative things to herself. I'm going to hold off on doing that - it's a little extreme for me. Maybe if my negative self-talk get worse I'll do it. That's good motivation to nip the bad self-talk in the bud early!
I was right, I didn't learn anything new about what I should be doing to lose weight, but I was also right in that it re-motivated me to keep doing the things I'm doing right and to recommit to doing other things better. It keeps me focused on my goal. I'm so independent, sometimes it's hard to need help, to admit that I can't do it by myself. I'm trying to learn that needing a support group doesn't make me weak or incapable. It's just another tool to help me.
Now, will someone please remind me of this next month when I'm trying to talk myself into going to the support group? Please!
Monday night, it didn't help that I stayed late at work trying to fix a glitch with my phone - it wasn't receiving emails and I really like that it normally does. I finally got it working again around 6:30 and the support group started at 7:00. I had a little meat leftover from lunch, so I ate it, trying to decide what to do. A movie across the way tempted me. Going home and changing into my sweats tempted me. I finally decided on the movie and popped a Hershey's Kiss into my mouth (our FedEx driver gave a bag of Kisses to my coworker and me).
The Kiss changed my mind. I had rationalized eating it by saying that at least I was only eating one. Before my surgery I would have had more. I've been rationalizing a lot lately - especially Super Bowl Sunday when I ate more carbs in 5 hours than I had in over a month! I ate considerably less than I normally would have, but I definitely did not stick to my prescribed diet.
I changed directions and drove to the library instead of the theater. The whole time, I still had to convince myself to go. I know what I need to do to lose weight, I'd argue. Yes, but you're not doing it as well as you could. You need support, not just knowledge. This will keep you motivated. The angel on my shoulder won out. Thankfully.
The night's topic was self-talk, wouldn't ya know. The leader told us some of the things she says to herself and how she'd never let someone else get away with saying those things to her and that she certainly would never say them to anyone! I don't think I have a lot of negative self-talk, thankfully, but it does exist. Certain times are worse than others. Certain events bring it out - like my boss wanting to set me up on a blind date. I say to myself, I bet I know what he'll think when he sees me! or something along those lines.
We discussed ways to keep our internal conversations positive and to break the habit of negative self-talk. I came away with two things I'm going to do.
1. Love notes to myself. Okay, not really "love notes", but little sticky notes that have positive things about myself where I'll see them often. One lady puts sticky notes all over her mirror. I'm going to put some on the monitor of my exercise bike. I know it sounds corny, but it's worth a try.
2. Two things I did well today. Every night, before going to bed, I'm going to say out loud (to myself) two things that I am proud of myself for doing/being/etc. For example, Monday night, I said I was proud of myself for going to the meeting and for riding my bike for a record 35 minutes in one session! Woohoo!
The instructor said that she's going to start saying "Stop!" out loud every time she catches herself saying negative things to herself. I'm going to hold off on doing that - it's a little extreme for me. Maybe if my negative self-talk get worse I'll do it. That's good motivation to nip the bad self-talk in the bud early!
I was right, I didn't learn anything new about what I should be doing to lose weight, but I was also right in that it re-motivated me to keep doing the things I'm doing right and to recommit to doing other things better. It keeps me focused on my goal. I'm so independent, sometimes it's hard to need help, to admit that I can't do it by myself. I'm trying to learn that needing a support group doesn't make me weak or incapable. It's just another tool to help me.
Now, will someone please remind me of this next month when I'm trying to talk myself into going to the support group? Please!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
New Support Group
Before my surgery, I discovered that there is a weight loss surgery support group here in my home town. I was told it was small and still developing, so I wasn't sure if I'd attend it. I had really enjoyed the support group I attended in November in SG and had learned a lot. I wondered if I'd get enough support from a fledgling group. My frugal side argued that I could save money by attending the local group. If I felt it wasn't supporting me enough, I could switch to the SG group.
Last Monday, I attended my first meeting with the local group. It meets at the library, which pleases me because I'm always looking for an excuse to go to the library. I've decided to grab a couple books or so after every meeting. Woohoo! My informant was correct, it was a small group - the leader, her husband, two others, and me. As the newbie, lots of attention was focused on me. Fortunately, I don't mind being the center of attention for awhile.
The group leader, Peggy, had gastric bypass and within 9 months had lost 150 pounds! She still has a bit more to lose, especially since she gained 25 pounds back. Gaining some weight back motivated her to start attending the SG support group, but she grew tired of traveling south every month, so she became certified as a leader and started the group here a few months ago. She's really nice and funny. Her husband comes along to support her - he hasn't had weight loss surgery (WLS).
The other two members in attendance were Paul and Maylene. Paul had gastric bypass 8 years ago and lost 90 pounds. In 8 years he's put 10 pounds back on, spurring his attendance at the group - he's still overweight and would like to lose the 10 pounds plus more. Maylene has the band and had it put on in Mexico 1 1/2 years ago. She went from 202 lbs to 135 (her goal weight) and hasn't put any weight back on. Since we had the same procedure, Maylene and I chatted afterwards and she offered to answer any questions I have.
For part of the meeting, we discussed topics we'd like to cover throughout the year. I suggested Creative Cooking and Nutrition and WLS (something that really concerns me). We're also going to have speakers discuss exercising (someone is going to teach us yoga!), dealing with saboteurs, emotional changes with weight loss, setting goals, and a whole slew of other topics I can't recall right now.
The rest of the meeting involved discussing challenges we're facing right now. I wasn't facing any, so I listened to the others, taking notes on the suggestions for coping because I'm sure someday I'll be facing the same challenges. At the time I didn't know I'd be going on a work trip, or I would've asked for suggestions to help me drive without eating!
I decided I kind of like that it's a small group. I felt very welcomed and not just another person among 30 who could come and go without being noticed. We're going to plan activities outside of the meetings like walking the canyon trail, learning line dancing, and miniature golf. I think it will be a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone better, supporting each other, and learning more.
Last Monday, I attended my first meeting with the local group. It meets at the library, which pleases me because I'm always looking for an excuse to go to the library. I've decided to grab a couple books or so after every meeting. Woohoo! My informant was correct, it was a small group - the leader, her husband, two others, and me. As the newbie, lots of attention was focused on me. Fortunately, I don't mind being the center of attention for awhile.
The group leader, Peggy, had gastric bypass and within 9 months had lost 150 pounds! She still has a bit more to lose, especially since she gained 25 pounds back. Gaining some weight back motivated her to start attending the SG support group, but she grew tired of traveling south every month, so she became certified as a leader and started the group here a few months ago. She's really nice and funny. Her husband comes along to support her - he hasn't had weight loss surgery (WLS).
The other two members in attendance were Paul and Maylene. Paul had gastric bypass 8 years ago and lost 90 pounds. In 8 years he's put 10 pounds back on, spurring his attendance at the group - he's still overweight and would like to lose the 10 pounds plus more. Maylene has the band and had it put on in Mexico 1 1/2 years ago. She went from 202 lbs to 135 (her goal weight) and hasn't put any weight back on. Since we had the same procedure, Maylene and I chatted afterwards and she offered to answer any questions I have.
For part of the meeting, we discussed topics we'd like to cover throughout the year. I suggested Creative Cooking and Nutrition and WLS (something that really concerns me). We're also going to have speakers discuss exercising (someone is going to teach us yoga!), dealing with saboteurs, emotional changes with weight loss, setting goals, and a whole slew of other topics I can't recall right now.
The rest of the meeting involved discussing challenges we're facing right now. I wasn't facing any, so I listened to the others, taking notes on the suggestions for coping because I'm sure someday I'll be facing the same challenges. At the time I didn't know I'd be going on a work trip, or I would've asked for suggestions to help me drive without eating!
I decided I kind of like that it's a small group. I felt very welcomed and not just another person among 30 who could come and go without being noticed. We're going to plan activities outside of the meetings like walking the canyon trail, learning line dancing, and miniature golf. I think it will be a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone better, supporting each other, and learning more.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Support Group - November
Last week, I attended my first weight loss surgery support group. It was one of the requirements I had to complete in order to have the surgery. I'm glad it's a requirement because it was really helpful! And, since I have to travel 45 minutes to get to it, I needed the motivation. Now that I know how wonderful the group is, I'll be more likely to go.
I invited my mom to come with me. I felt like I need her more than anyone else to know what I'm going to be going through. We got into a little fight on the way down (we're too alike), but we cleared it up quickly and got along fine the rest of the time. We both learned a lot about what to expect and I know she'll be a lot of help to me after the surgery.
Here are some of the things I learned:
1. 4 oz = 1/2 cup NOT 1/4 cup. This was the best news! There was a girl my age sitting by Mom and me and I decided to become friends with her, so we did. When the group leaders mentioned that 4 oz is roughly 1/2 cup, Heather (my new friend) almost choked because she had just started to consider surgery and was appalled at how little food she'd be able to eat. I was THRILLED though! After a month or so of thinking I'll only be able to eat 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup seems almost like a feast! Woohoo!
2. One bite of vegetable/carb for every 3 bites of protein (mainly meat). I expressed my concern that all I'd be eating was protein and wasn't that kind of not good? What about fruits and vegetables (which I love)??? This is what I was told. They also said that the maintenance diet allows for fruit and more veggies. That's better, I guess.
3. Small bites (pea-sized) and chew each bite 20 times. I heard about the consequences for not following this and they are NOT pleasant! So, I've begun to practice. It's harder than you might think.
4. Tracking exercise and food intake helps you be more successful at weight loss. I've heard this so many times it makes me want to scream. I guess it makes sense, I just hate having to do it. To that end, I'm borrowing this idea and will have weekly updates on my exercise progress. I haven't figured out how I'm going to work the food intake part.
5. If you don't eat enough protein after the surgery, you'll lose hair! It's not like you go bald, your hair just gets thinner. And, they said that it comes back after awhile, but I'm not going to take any chances. I like my hair. I guess I'll be following that 3 bites protein, 1 bite carb rule after all!
6. To get rid of gas, walk! I guess gas is a bit of a problem after the surgery. Oh goodie! One lady felt it in her shoulder and chest! So much so that she went to the hospital thinking she was having a heart attack. Boy, the good news just keeps coming, doesn't it??? :)
7. My "ideal weight" is 135 lbs. There's a formula that supposedly tells what you should ideally weigh. The nutritionist said it isn't foolproof, nothing is. Yeah, I'm not aiming for 135; it may be a little extreme. I'd love to get to 170, maybe 165. 135???
It was really interesting to listen to people talk about their experiences and to get their advice for adjusting to post-surgery life. It was also really motivational! One woman had gastric bypass on Jan 2, this year, and has lost 105 lbs! She looked like a skinny person! I would never have guessed that she hadn't been skinny all her life. Another woman had Lap Band surgery a couple months ago and had already lost more than 30 lbs. One has lost almost 60 lbs in 4 months! Wow! It was good to see the positive results! None of them regretted having the surgery (maybe those people don't go to support groups) and all of them said they wished they'd had it done sooner.
Maybe next month I'll invite Dad and Paula to go with me.
I invited my mom to come with me. I felt like I need her more than anyone else to know what I'm going to be going through. We got into a little fight on the way down (we're too alike), but we cleared it up quickly and got along fine the rest of the time. We both learned a lot about what to expect and I know she'll be a lot of help to me after the surgery.
Here are some of the things I learned:
1. 4 oz = 1/2 cup NOT 1/4 cup. This was the best news! There was a girl my age sitting by Mom and me and I decided to become friends with her, so we did. When the group leaders mentioned that 4 oz is roughly 1/2 cup, Heather (my new friend) almost choked because she had just started to consider surgery and was appalled at how little food she'd be able to eat. I was THRILLED though! After a month or so of thinking I'll only be able to eat 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup seems almost like a feast! Woohoo!
2. One bite of vegetable/carb for every 3 bites of protein (mainly meat). I expressed my concern that all I'd be eating was protein and wasn't that kind of not good? What about fruits and vegetables (which I love)??? This is what I was told. They also said that the maintenance diet allows for fruit and more veggies. That's better, I guess.
3. Small bites (pea-sized) and chew each bite 20 times. I heard about the consequences for not following this and they are NOT pleasant! So, I've begun to practice. It's harder than you might think.
4. Tracking exercise and food intake helps you be more successful at weight loss. I've heard this so many times it makes me want to scream. I guess it makes sense, I just hate having to do it. To that end, I'm borrowing this idea and will have weekly updates on my exercise progress. I haven't figured out how I'm going to work the food intake part.
5. If you don't eat enough protein after the surgery, you'll lose hair! It's not like you go bald, your hair just gets thinner. And, they said that it comes back after awhile, but I'm not going to take any chances. I like my hair. I guess I'll be following that 3 bites protein, 1 bite carb rule after all!
6. To get rid of gas, walk! I guess gas is a bit of a problem after the surgery. Oh goodie! One lady felt it in her shoulder and chest! So much so that she went to the hospital thinking she was having a heart attack. Boy, the good news just keeps coming, doesn't it??? :)
7. My "ideal weight" is 135 lbs. There's a formula that supposedly tells what you should ideally weigh. The nutritionist said it isn't foolproof, nothing is. Yeah, I'm not aiming for 135; it may be a little extreme. I'd love to get to 170, maybe 165. 135???
It was really interesting to listen to people talk about their experiences and to get their advice for adjusting to post-surgery life. It was also really motivational! One woman had gastric bypass on Jan 2, this year, and has lost 105 lbs! She looked like a skinny person! I would never have guessed that she hadn't been skinny all her life. Another woman had Lap Band surgery a couple months ago and had already lost more than 30 lbs. One has lost almost 60 lbs in 4 months! Wow! It was good to see the positive results! None of them regretted having the surgery (maybe those people don't go to support groups) and all of them said they wished they'd had it done sooner.
Maybe next month I'll invite Dad and Paula to go with me.
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